Standup comedy club

[Bender B.R.]

Каждый со своим "standup" номером :xixi:

[Bender B.R.]

you know what pisses me off? :rolleyes:

You know,when you're having a conversation with someone,and for some reason,you get on the particular topic.

In this case,lets say,the topic is-NUTS

Dont you hate,when the other person,usually have to make some dumbass,sexual comment,creating some kind lameass fun,based on your legitimate topic of conversation?...

Lets say,you say something like,-i'm not sure i like those nuts,they leave weird taste in my mouth.

Then the other person,in usual dumbass fashion,just have to say something like "heheh ...you dont like the nuts in your mouth heheheh?" .And then he or she giggles like an idiot for a half an hour,thinking they made a clever joke at the topic of conversation..

These people need to be killed! i'm sick and tired of people changing simple topicks into something perverted!

And God forbid,if you're a woman cought in some sick play like this.Before you know it,everyone at work will come at your back,becose you made some comment about "large ball"!

Its unnessesary,its stupid,and it shows that you think with your sexual organs rather than your brain!In this case someone should glue your mouth to your ass,so thay can illustrate,that you truely,indeed suck ass!

:bis: :xixi: ногами не бить :*

[Bender B.R.]

ну что все разбежались ,перегнул палку да? :xixi:

[chachanak]

No it's very funny. :up:

Не комплексуй. Просто всех вдохновил, чтобы начали писать. Я не думала, что можно пистаь на ангийском, тоесть, что прочтут. Может я тоже на английском напишу.

Я щас работаю над своим монологом.

[Bender B.R.]

Heeey,how’s it going?How do you feeln'?

good...yeah,cuz i dont care i really dont its' just a form of speach,i dont really care how you feel

You know,when you ask someone how he feels,and they take it seriously? :xixi:

I mean,you see someone and ask im how he feels,and he goe somethin' like -" well actually my heart hurs a little,my doctor said.." ..I mean wats the matter with these people? :wallbash: Its just a FORM OF SPEACH,its just SOMETHING WE SAY,it doesnt mean that i reaaly care ..

And you stay there in the street smile and think "sut up *****er,i DONT CARE" :wallbash:

Another situation.Dont you hate when someone in the other end of street recognize you and starts calling you from there?And all these people in the street stare at you ,like you did something really really bad?But you cant ignore him,believe me,when someone sticks to you you cant get away(i tried ),cuz he follows you and makes it even worse..."hey,its me..hey man...hey.."

So you know you have to answer,but we always add somethink to the end

-HEEEEEY Armen

-Hey,Karen you son of a...

-Heeey ,how you doin'?

-I'm fine,thanks! You bastard

Of course you dont say the last patrs loud so he cant hear you

moving on.

Have you ever been to the fast food restaurants?Have you seen there "diet approved menus"?

I mean come on!Whats the deal with that?!Stop shoving this thing in my face!

When i go to the fast food restaurants,I KNOW its bad for me,but I DONT CARE,cuz i like it and im gonna eat it!And i dont wanna se someone telling me how bad of a diet im on..

"You're not eating right,so we will show you how to live in healthy style'

screw that!Stop cluttering up my fat filled menu, with your stupid low carb crap! Okay?

You’re all gonna grow old, you’re all gonna get wrinkles…And you will all, eventually die! :bye: so yes, the super size burger isn’t good for you, but neither are the f**king pesticides in your salat alright? So, basically we’re all choosing how we’re gonna die, let me kill myself in peace, okay? You f***ing controlling bastards! :ranting:

You know what? Next time when someone tells you the health ramifications of the food you’re eating, tell them about the health ramifications of you stabbing them in the throat? Maybe that’ll shut em up, and you can enjoy your meal. :xixi:

another thing.Movie comercials.

What about those film critics?Everytime you read about the movie,some fat bastard,sittin in his home with a bucket of popcorn , has to call it "disapointing" or "riveting" ?“The film is riveting!” What the f**k does that mean? Riveting!? I don’t want riveting! Everything is "disapointing" to these f***ing critics!

No one gives a shit if some dumb fat guy with glasses “approves, or disapproves, of a movie. "Well, I thought the cinematography was quite interesting and”…Shut the fuck up!

Shut up, put your thumb down, and stop eating the popcorn!

This guy sticks his f***ing thumb in the air like he’s f***g Caesar like his review means anything, to anybody, and God forbid if I come across somebody that says “well you know, they gave it two thumbs up” well you know what, here’s one finger up! Okay?

-I’m not going to see this movie with you! You f**ng bastard!

Cause then, you know, you go to see the movie with this guy, and they come out, “huh, that thumb guy was right, the cinematography wasn’t so great.”

And then you gotta kill him with a bucket of popcorn, and you know there are issues after that…police..handcuffs.its a whole ritual.and you dont need that.

I’m going to the movies by myself…leave me alone!

and if theres diet approved popcorn at the snack bar…I’m killing everyone!!!!!

god day to you all,you've been a gteat audience

:bis: :xixi:

[chachanak]

:lol: :lol:

Yo, whuss up? What's the deal with separation homeboy? :lol:

Cus u wanna have ur own show or somethin'? :lol:

[Bender B.R.]

:lol: :lol:

Yo, whuss up? What's the deal with separation homeboy? :lol:

Cus u wanna have ur own show or somethin'? :lol:

[Diana]

Yo,those amateurs were messin' my style you know' :xixi: (just kiddin')

[chachanak]

allright allright , i feel ur pain :lol:

[Diana]

so many f words, Gooddd :rolleyes:

[Bender B.R.]

so many f words, Gooddd :rolleyes:

[Diana]

you just lucky,i tried not to use the "A" word :xixi:

[Bender B.R.]

its just unnatural without the f ford :verysad:

[chachanak]

Who would ever expect a Detroit girl complain about profanity out of all people? :lol:

Diana jan, the hood's gonna be mad at u.

[Diana]

Who would ever expect a Detroit girl complain about profanity out of all people?  :lol:

Diana jan, the hood's gonna be mad at u.