Учим английский

[НезнайкО]

я требую переименовать тему

из "учим английский"

в повышаем квалификацию по английскому,до уровня физика ядерщика

[annajan]

я требую переименовать тему

из "учим английский"

в повышаем квалификацию по английскому,до уровня физика ядерщика

[Bagirka]

Картезиус эли .... :smile144: устроил тут библиотеку конгресса.... :to_pick_ones_nose2:

[cartesius]

Nerd jokes

The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

A logician’s wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.

His wife asks impatiently: “So, is it a boy or a girl” ?

The logician replies: “yes”.

One day, a man walks into a bar and says, "Can I have a glass of H2O?" A second guy walks in and says, "Can I have a glass of H2O too?" Only the first man lives to tell the tale.

The vendor makes the hot dog and hands it to the Buddhist monk, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. “Excuse me, but where’s my change?” asks the Buddhist monk. The vendor replied, “Change must come from within.”

C, E flat, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, no minors”

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A fish.

The first rule of Tautology club, is the first rule of Tautology club.

Boris Spassky was once asked by a reporter, “Which do you prefer: chess or sex?”. Spassky replied “It very much depends on the position”.

I could tell you a joke about TCP, but I’d have to keep repeating it until you got it.

Entropy isn’t what it used to be.

Тhere are two types of people in the world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data sets

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

[cartesius]

Both of my older brothers were bouncers in their twenties, and I heard my fair share of rowdy customer stories, but this one was always my favorite. One night, when the bar was packed, a female patron was being hassled by a male patron. Suddenly, he begins to grab her and become violent. The female patron panics, and before my brother can get to them, pulls out a bottle of pepper spray and attempts to fend off her attacker. The male patron grabs the pepper spray before she can use it and begins to hit her, then tries to spray her with the pepper spray in the crowded bar.

My brother, raised to believe that striking a woman is unacceptable, loses his shit and grabs the guy and the pepper spray and forces him outside. He then proceeds to drop him to the gutter, hold him down with his foot, and EMPTY THE ENTIRE CAN IN THE GUY’S FACE. As the male patron is screaming in pain, a cop car rolls up and rolls down the window. As he is a bouncer, the local cops know my brother by name.)

Cop: Uh…. Hey, Bill. Whatcha doin’?

My brother: This motherfucker just beat the shit out of a girl in my bar then tried to pepper spray her!

Cop: Oh. Carry on.

[cartesius]

[cartesius]

http://www.shortlist.com/entertainment/books/30-best-shakespearean-insults

[Bagirka]

Глюк, все ниже....

Изменено 2 ноября 2013 пользователем Bagirka (история изменений)

[Bagirka]

Тут пару лет назад один мой знакомый в результате спора о Шекспире своей подружке руку сломал..... :rolleyes2: Карт, кажется, мечтает довести нас до этого экстаза..... :to_pick_ones_nose2:

[cartesius]

Тут пару лет назад один мой знакомый в результате спора о Шекспире своей подружке руку сломал..... :rolleyes2: Карт, кажется, мечтает довести нас до этого экстаза..... :to_pick_ones_nose2:

Жаль, здесь никто со мной не спорит. Зря я все 38 пьес Шекспира на трех языках читал... :smile4:

[Bagirka]

Нет, ну поспорить-то конечно можно, но что ты такого спорного сказал??

[cartesius]

Наступит день, и я скажу все, что я думаю по этому поводу. :234:

[Bagirka]

Ну а кто ж против - пусть наступит.... :to_pick_ones_nose2:

[kuklamasha]

Тут пару лет назад один мой знакомый в результате спора о Шекспире своей подружке руку сломал..... :rolleyes2: Карт, кажется, мечтает довести нас до этого экстаза..... :to_pick_ones_nose2:

[Bagirka]

Не только говорила, но и показывала. :innocent: